Nico's Journey
by darcyexene
Summary: After being ordered to stay in the infirmary for three days by Will, Nico disappears. For three months he is missing until one night he arrives at camp, horribly wounded, both physically and mentally. Canceled - I've moved onto another story and didn't want to continue an iffy story I wrote years ago :') Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

*WARNING* Self harm and drug abuse are recurring themes in this story.

Percy was asleep in his cabin until the temperature in the room began to drop and the corner of the room began to shift and darken. He shot upright. "Who's there?" He spoke groggily. The mass in the corner of the room began to take a distinct shape and fall to the floor. "Nico?" Percy asked when the darkness dissipated and he could make out Nico's features. There was no response. He turned on the light and gasped when he saw the frail kid covered in blood. He ran over and searched for the wound. He couldn't find the gash responsible for all the bleeding until he gave up and yanked the jacket off Nico. His left arm was covered in cuts and gashes, one in particular was bleeding profusely, located on the vein near his wrist.

"Percy, I didn't know where to go," Nico whispered. Percy noticed that his breath smelled strongly of alcohol. He picked up the surprisingly light Nico and ran to the Big House as fast as he could, knowing that no one would be in the infirmary this late.

When he got there he yelled for Chiron. Nico was burning up. In about a minute the man rolled out of a room, looking slightly annoyed. That didn't last long. When he saw Nico, the color drained from his face. "Lay him down on the card table, now!" Percy did as he was told. "Get bandages, disinfectant, nectar and ambrosia." Percy dashed towards the empty infirmary as fast as he could.

He was back within a minute, but in that time, Nico had completely lost consciousness and the table was covered in blood. He had begun to stop bleeding, but he had already lost a lot of blood.

After almost half an hour, Chiron was able to stop the bleeding and dress the wounds.

Nico's eyes fluttered open and he instantly began to panic, his eyes wide in fear and his pupils dilated. Percy held Nico down.

"Chiron-"

"I know." Chiron cut Percy off. He had seen enough Party Ponies to know what drugs did. With no warning, Chiron struck Nico on the head and he stopped flailing. Percy looked at him in horror. "I panicked," Chiron said simply. "I had to stop him from hurting himself further."

"What happened to him?" Percy sighed.  
"You're guess is as good as mine. But these wounds weren't from monsters, and I don't think he got the drugs from monsters either."

"What?!" It took Percy a few moments to take in the scene in front of him. Nico had been missing for almost 12 weeks after staying at the camp for three days after the war ended. His shirt was covered in blood and his left arm was bandaged from the shoulder to his hand.

Nico woke up with a splitting headache. He was use to the aching and headaches. The drugs did that to him. He didn't really mind, it was better than going off of them completely. He looked around and realized he was in Cabin 3, laying in Percy's bed.

"What happened?" Percy asked. He was crouched in the corner of the room, cleaning up the blood from last night.

"I decided to pay you a visit."

"Stop playing dumb. You know what I mean. You were high and stunk of alcohol. You were bleeding everywhere! Explain."

Nico just laughed. "I'm not as strong as you guys. You all got through this just fine. To put it simply, I didn't." He tried to stand up but swayed and fell to the floor. Percy rushed over to him.

"You're almost 15, you should be learning and falling in love. Not getting high and drunk, doing hell knows what to get cut up like that. Will has missed you so much. He spends his free time searching for you. We've all been so scared."

Nico's face got even paler. "Does he know?"

"Only Chiron and I know."

"I-" Nico sighed. "Percy, I need your help.


	2. Chapter 2

"Percy, I need your help." Percy never expected Nico to ask for help, ever. But there he was, lying on the ground, asking for it. "I've been sleeping in gutters, getting high everyday off of pills. Drinking until I pass out. Have you ever tried fighting monsters with drugs running through your system? It's difficult."

"Is that why your arm is injured?"  
Nico looked down. "No."

"Then wh-."

Nico cut him off, "It's none of your damn business!"

Shocked, Percy put his hands up and said, "ok, fine. Breakfast is about to start. You should eat." He reached out a hand to help Nico up.

With Percy's help, he made his way down to the dining pavilion. Stares followed him, whispers that he took as judgement, but in reality, people were worried and shocked to see the son of Hades back, and in such a state. He could barely walk on his own after shadow traveling to Cabin 3 and taking a lethal combination of pills and alcohol. He needed to lean on Percy's arm until he sat down.

"How come you're at camp? I thought you would be with your mom for your senior year," Nico asked.

"I come here on the weekends to visit Annabeth. I know that's not allowed, but Chiron made an exception."

"How come Annabeth is here and not with her dad?"

Percy tensed up. "You should ask her that." An awkward silence. "Frank, Hazel, and most of the Romans have gone back to Camp Jupiter. Leo showed up about a month ago with Calypso." Percy said.

"He's alive?" As if on command, Leo came walking over with Calypso, Jason and Piper. When Leo, Jason, and Piper saw the frail boy barely able to keep his head up, they began to run.

The three of them assaulted him with concerned questions. It was all fuzzy to him, he couldn't concentrate when his head felt like it would split open. He just stared at them. They stopped talking when they realized he wasn't even listening. He was thinking about what they would think of him if they knew the truth. How much they would hate him. The thought made him nauseated. But it wasn't the disturbing thought that made him clumsily climb out of his seat and fall to the ground, throwing up what little was in his stomach. He forgot about how the combination of pills and alcohol he had taken the night before would affect him and how it would make him sick no matter how much nectar and ambrosia he had.

"Nico!" Jason screamed. Percy just bent down and rubbed his back. He was surprised this hadn't happened earlier.

A crash came from behind Nico and he turned around when he felt like he could move. Will was standing there, papers still fluttering on the ground from being dropped in surprise. Will got on his knees and hugged Nico, not caring about the vomit around his mouth. "Oh gods, Nico." Will looked him up and down, trying to pinpoint every injury with just his eyes. But little did he know most of his wounds aren't physical. "Nico, please let me help you. I _want_ to help you."

Nico nodded silently, not having the energy to put up a fight. Will picked up Nico and began slowly walking towards the infirmary.


	3. Chapter 3

Will laid Nico down in one of the beds in the infirmary and sat in a chair next to him. So many things were going through Will's head, where he went, why he came back now, why he is sick. Yet the only thing he could get out was, "you are extremely underweight."

"Yeah." Nico rolled over and hid his face in the pillow, not wanting to look Will in the face.

"Nico, why did you leave? You promised."

"I needed some time to think. I ended up not thinking at all." His words were slightly muffled by the pillow.

Percy, Leo, Jason, Piper, and Annabeth (apparently she was informed about his return) walked in, all with concerned faces. Percy walks over to Will and whispers in his ear, "don't leave him alone," but Nico doesn't hear.

"Where did you go? How come you didn't stay? What happened? How badly did you get hurt? Are you ok?" The questions just kept coming, like the voices of the damned or the monsters of Tartarus. Images flashed in his head of being alone in Tartarus, being captured multiple times during his 'stay' and tortured. The voices just kept coming and when an image of his own sword being used to torture him resurfaced, he snapped. He screamed and tried to run away but Percy caught him and pinned him to the bed, which caused a fit of quieter, but more panicky screams. Percy got off him and apologised, "I'm sorry. No one here is going to hurt you." Nico curled up into a ball.

"Get out!" Nico screamed and everyone left except Percy and Will, who stood outside of the room.

"He shadow traveled into my cabin at about 1 A.M. this morning. He was high, drunk, and covered in blood. I don't know what he was trying to do," Percy spoke in hushed tones. "From what I've gathered, he had been doing drugs and living on the streets for the past three months."

Will was holding back tears. "Why would he do that?"

"He's been through so much, I'm surprised he didn't snap earlier. He watched his mother die when he was 10, and later, his sister went too. He went through Tartarus _alone_ and no one knows exactly what happened when he was down there."

"How come you told me not to leave him alone?" Will asked, his face shrouded in fear. He opens the door and walks in to see Nico with a hand full of mortal medicine from the cabinet. "Nico!" Will swats his hand and the pills fly across the room. "Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

"No! I just wanted to forget for awhile." His voice falling into a rapid _perdendo_ with every syllable.

Will pulled him into a hug. "Those will do more than make you forget."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note.

I wrote this story about half a year ago. It's definitely not my best writing and it could be much better. I published it because I'm working on other stories in the miniscule amount of free time I have. I'm in marching band and a bunch of clubs. I'm also raising money and applying to be an exchange student in Germany next year. This is just an old story to bide me time for the other projects I've been working on for you guys. New chapters should be out soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Will had brought Nico breakfast, but he didn't touch it. All he wanted was the pills. That gnawing sensation at the bottom of his stomach was getting worse by the minute, and even though Percy told Will not to leave Nico alone, Will left after trying to talk to him and get him to eat. "I trust you," was all he said before he walked out.

Nico was sitting in the chair, his knee bouncing up and down while his eyes darted around the room. Will said he trusted him, he didn't want to let him down again. But the truth was, Nico didn't even trust himself. He stood up and tried to open the cabinet. It was locked. Will locked it. So much for trust. But really, who could blame him?

Nico searched the drawers until he found a paperclip and began to pick the lock. He heard the click of the lock and a quiet alarm went off. A baby monitor was placed inside the cabinet next to this alarm. Nico could only assume that Will had placed the simple, stupid trap.

Knowing that Will would come running, Nico did the only rational thing. He hid under the bed. As soon as Nico had hid himself sufficiently, two people burst into the room. "Where is he?" said a voice that sounded like Percy.

"All of the medicine is still here." That was definetly Will.

"We would have seen him if he'd ran out."

"I'm an idiot! I'm still looking for him. He could have shadow traveled." The door closed and the footsteps died away.

After waiting a few minutes he grabbed a few bottles of the strongest pills and searched the draws once more until he found a couple of blades. He walked silently back to his own cabin.

It had been a long time since Nico had been inside Cabin 13, and it was just as dreary as he remembered. Nico walked over to the bathroom and hid his new stash. The only reason he didn't pop a few pills right then was because he was curious how long he would last.

A horn sounded across camp signaling lunch and it was then that Nico realized just how hungry he was. He decided it shouldn't be a horrible idea if he ate lunch at the pavilion.

He was almost halfway there when Will and Percy came running up to him. "What the hell did you do?!" Shouted Will.

"I didn't pop any, if that's what you mean."

"How did you manage to get out without us seeing you?" Asked Percy.

"I hid under the bed."

Percy let out a giggle. "This isn't funny Jackson!" Yelled Will.

The three of them walked down to the pavilion and sat at the Hades table, later joined by the people who had visited him earlier that day.

He wasn't bombarded by questions this time. They had obviously gotten the hint that what happened, wasn't up for discussion. They chatted away as if it were a normal day. But every once in awhile he'd get a concerned look.

At some point during the meal Will looked at Nico. Not a glance, no. He looked him in the eyes. He looked genuinely concerned, but there was another emotion, somewhere.

Nico excused himself when the pavilion began to clear out. He didn't go back to his cabin. Wanting a little time away, he walked up the the hills overlooking the camp and sat down.

He must have fallen asleep because when he woke up the sun was lower in the sky and the it's son was sitting next to him.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Will asked.

"Like shit."

The blonde chuckled. "You look like it too."

"Yeah, I know."

"Nico. I was really scared. I searched for you almost everyday. When I saw you on your hands and knees puking your guts out, I was so relieved. I wasn't happy you were injured, but that you were here, so your injuries could be fixed."  
"These wounds aren't ones that can be healed. They're not physical. You can't do anything."

"There are ways, and I won't be the only one helping you. I reall-."

Nico stopped Will. "No! look at me! You can't fix me!"

"But I'm going to try. Please let me take you to the infirmary. Three more days, you owe me that."

Nico sighed in defeat. "Ok, but first let me go back to my cabin. I'll be right there."

He sat down on his bed and his head began to spin, his bones ached even more and his headache worsened. He had concluded that he reached his limit and he got up and opened the bathroom door to see Percy holding Nico's 'stash,' looking like he was about to cry.

Percy turned to face Nico. "What the hell did you do?!"

"Nothing!" Percy started to walk towards the door with Nico's things in his hand. "Hey, wait! If you are going to take my pills, at least leave me the blades."

Percy stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around. "Remind me, what happened to you arm?" Nico shuddered and backed up. "What did you do?"

Nico tried to grab the pills and blades out of Percy's hand and run, but he's weak. Having not eaten properly in a long time or taken care of himself, Percy had the upper hand. He grabbed Nico by the shoulders, letting the addictive objects fall to the floor. "Nico, I'm not going to hurt you. The only one here who is going to do that is yourself." Percy pulled some bandages out of his pocket. "I was looking for you. You need to change your bandages."

"I'm fine!"

"No you aren't! You almost died last night. You scared me half to death. Now let me help you, or I'll get Will."

Nico's eyes widened. He couldn't let Will know. Will was already disappointed in him for leaving. He didn't want to make it worse. He reluctantly held out his bandaged arm and Percy began unwrapping it.

His arm was now naked. The angry gaping gashes seemed to taunt Percy, telling him to freak out and pull Nico to the infirmary. But he knew that would only make things worse. "Gods, Nico. Did you do this?" Nico had been looking at the floor from the moment Percy began unwrapping his arm, that didn't change. "Nico? Please answer me."

Nico's face snapped up and looked him directly in the eyes. "Yes. This started a long time ago. I went off on my own a lot, so people just assumed they were from fights with monsters or just accidents."

"How long have you been doing this to yourself?" Percy asked behind gritted teeth.

"On and off since Bianca died." He paused, "four years."

Percy pulled Nico into a crushing hug. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't personal. I didn't tell anyone."

"Nico, you have to stop. It's going to kill you. Whether it's drugs or blades. How long have you been an addict?"

Nico pulled away. "I did it a couple times after I got out of Tartarus. But the repetitive getting high, coming down, and then immediately getting high again; that started after I left the camp three months ago."

"What can I do to help?"

"I don't know. Just, don't leave. I'm not going to be able to get through this on my own, but, I don't think I'm really ready to talk about what happened."

"You mean in Tartarus?"

Nico nodded.

"I was with Annabeth. There were two of us. It must have been much harder going alone. You are-" Nico could see Percy talking, but his head was spinning with memories and images. He began to eyeball the bottle of pills on the floor closest to him. Nico started to reach out like the bottle was a life preserver, but Percy slapped his hand. The older boy grabbed the drugs and blades and put them on Nico's dresser. "Nico! Look at me." Percy sighed loudly, "let's fix up your arm." He pulled a bottle of disinfectant out of his pocket and grabbed the tissue box from the dresser. "Nico, I'm really worried about you," he said as he poured a bit of the bottle on a wad of tissues. "This is gonna hurt."

Nico didn't even flinch when Percy pressed down. "They tortured me."

Percy froze. "What?" He whispered shakily.

"The monsters in Tartarus. They stalked me and every once in awhile they'd over power me, tie me up, and torture me. After a they had their fun, they would let me go and start over."

"They did what? Why didn't you tell anyone?"  
"It was easier that way. I could pretend it didn't happen."

"And the drugs helped with that?"

"Yeah, they did. Even if it was for a little while, it was worth it. But it's destroying me, I'm becoming dependent on it. Percy, it's hard to go very long without them. I'm really freaking out."

"Do you need someone to watch you?"

"I don't need a babysitter!"

"That's not what I meant. I meant I want to help, and your friends would too if you told them what's going on."

"I don't have any friends, at least I won't if they found out how fucked up I am."

"Nico, you are not!"

"If I ever succeed in becoming free from drugs, the blades will just take over again."

"Just one step at a time. I'll be here for you, and so will everyone else."

"Get those damn things out of here." Nico pointed to the pills and blades. He couldn't take his eyes off of them, with temptation burrowing its way into his head.

"Let me finish fixing you up." Percy cut pieces of bandage and dressed the healing wounds, finishing when he wrapped the most severe ones in gauze. "These are really serious, Nico."

"Yeah."

"Why do you cut yourself?"

Nico let out a disgruntled "hmpf."

"I'm sorry. I just want to help you. If asking you that is doing more harm than help, you don't have to answer." There was a long pause. So long, that Percy assumed Nico wasn't going to respond.

"It started as punishment for letting Bianca die."

"That wasn't your fault."

"At the time, that didn't matter. I felt like I deserved it. It grew into an addiction from there. I guess, I began to like it."

"You can get through it. I know it. You got through Tartarus."

"Not without almost losing my mind."

"If all of that happened to me, I would have lost more than just my mind. Nico, you are strong. I believe in you." He got up and left, with the temptations in his hands.


End file.
